Applesauce for Teddy

The two people I loved most were at such opposite ends of their lives...

These photos were taken days before my lover died from brain cancer a decade ago today. I was so forlorn and weak with sadness, but I felt I had to do something fun for Littlehands. So we went apple picking in Long Island. I was trying hard to focus on her and the apples. We went back home that chilly fall day to make applesauce - the one thing that Teddy could still enjoy with all the chemo.

Teddy loved cinnamon; he had it in his coffee every day. But he no longer drank coffee. It was hard for him to swallow and he could hardly be bothered to chew. But I knew he couldn’t resist my applesauce. Krishna loved it, too. It was warm, comforting, and sweet. 

This period over a decade ago was such a mix of sorrow and exhaustion, but also moments of motherly joy. Teddy’s health dwindled day by day while Krishna grew and developed at the same time. The two people I loved most were at such opposite ends of their lives. I realized at once how precious and fragile life really is. To this day, applesauce with lots cinnamon always reminds me of Teddy, and those last days together.

I still feel his presence around me every day and I know he is our guardian angel. Teddy always encouraged me to put myself in other peoples' shoes. I learned about so much from him that I still use today: in business, in my advocacy work, in creating Taste the Nation, and as a mother. "Save one life and you save the world" he said.  

Applesauce For Teddy 

from my memoir 'Love, Loss, and What We Ate'

Ingredients:

10 medium mixed apples (approximately 3 pounds), cored, peeled, and cut into 16 pieces each

2 tbsp lemon juice

1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick)

1/2 cup cane sugar

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1 1/2 tbsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground clove

Directions:

1. Put the apples into a bowl and toss them with the lemon juice.

2. In a deep pot, melt the butter over medium-low heat. Once the butter is evenly melted and slightly brown, add the apples with their juices and stir. Cook for 1 minute.

3. Add the sugar, salt, cinnamon, and cloves, sprinkling evenly throughout, and stir vigorously to distribute.

4. Raise the heat to medium and cover. Cook covered for approximately 25-30 minutes, depending on how chunky you like your applesauce. You’ll need to cook longer for smoother applesauce. Every 5 minutes, uncover and stir briskly, breaking up the chunks of apple with the side of your spoon, then replace the lid.

5. Serve warm.

Love,