Listen now | My dear paati (grandmother) is gone
May her memory be a blessing to you. Your love for her expressed in sorrow truly opened a well of fellow feeling in me. I too like your dear grandmother, am a step grandmother. The wife of my stepson’s father and grandmother to his 3 small children. I love them as if we shared a blood bond. We make our families. Intellectually I know this is true, but until I heard your halting sobs I don’t think I truly believed it to be true. Now I know not to doubt love. For an instant. Thank you, Padma. I sobbed with you. I thank you.
What a beautiful tribute to your dear paati. I can almost visualize you with her in her kitchen over the years and the beautiful aromas that surrounded you while learning so much about food and love and service and family. She had a full life and clearly touched deeply so many. May her memory always be a blessing to you and your daughter. And there was nothing cringe worthy in the tape you included. Death and pain and mourning are a very real part of life and we should share our feelings of grief not only our feelings of joy. Thank you for sharing yours. xo
This was incredibly raw and beautiful. What a tremendous person she was. May her memory be for a blessing.
This is beautiful! Your raw vulnerability and deep abiding love and affection for your dear paati is palpable and I share in your grief. Thank you for being so authentic in this time of immense sorrow. My heart hurts for you. Sending so much love!
i waited awhile before reading this newsletter, because i knew i would cry with you, and i waited until i was ready. when you share your grief, it allows us all to carry a tiny piece for you, and it makes it...not easier but...a little less to bear entirely on our own. my gramma was like a second mom to me, and i am forever grateful i got the chance to say goodbye, even though it was so hard, it is a gift many people don't get. because we knew, we started grieving while she was still alive, in a way. so when she died we were sad, but also glad she was at peace, that she got to live a long life, that she got to say goodbye to everyone, that she didn't go alone. i thought i was all cried out by that day but i was wrong.
to be honest, i never "got over" her death and it really didn't get easier either. and i don't say that to be cruel, but just to say, don't hold any expectations for your grief. be kind to yourself, don't feel you have failed or missed a goalpost if you're still grieving when you wish you weren't, or when other people decide you should be done. grief comes in waves, it can surprise you, the big losses don't suddenly become small.
we grieve not only the person but, as you said, the end of an era, a loss of innocence and a feeling of safety and love we won't experience in the same way again, and all the experiences that are now just memories. but, you know, to that end, you can walk with her in your heart and in your mind whenever you want. lots of times when i can't sleep i walk around my grandparents' house in my mind, talk to them, watch them do the things they always did. she will always be there. much love.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Appreciate you opening up and inspiring others to reflect on their relationship with their grandmother(s). This post brought back vivid memories of my French grandmother who used to almost always be found in the kitchen. Many of my memories from her are food-related and she was a true inspiration and I very very much miss her every single day. I almost got choked up reading about your Paati and I found your tribute to her wonderful. You've honored her well and I am sure you'll carry her legacy proudly.
truly sorry for your loss Padma., there are hardly any suitable words that are appropriate for the situation. Thank you for sharing your original and unpretentious self. I am amazed at your deep connection and profound love for your grandmother that you cared through all of the time.
You truly know how to love.
Padma, you are blessed to have had Jima in your life. Completely relate to your grief. Now, hold her in your heart and celebrate her. Love ♥️
I'm glad you got to see her before she went. Unfortunately my Ajji passed before I could make it back from Toronto. So I wasn't able to give her a hug or see her smile one last time. I was able to bury her, but wish so much, everyday that I could've made it back in time to see her.
Thank you for sharing Padma. You are Awesome. You will have the Best memories of your childhood like me; it is not the end; your memories will be with you forever. Share them with Kristna. You are such a role model and a Super Mom to Kristna. Keep up the good work. Let it Fly ! Your Grandma would expect that of you. Peace and Love. Neil
Am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. There is never enough time, even when there’s so much time to be grateful for…my grandma lived until almost 90, but it was not enough time. My stepdad was successful surviving cancer for 10 years before a last bout got him this past October. He was nearly 79, and it was not enough time. Again, so sorry. And thank you for helping us express grief through your grief.
I am so so sorry about your Paati! Be comforted with such wonderful memories and knowing that she will always love you and she will always be watching over you and Little Hands!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.
Love and BIG hugs!
“Elaatiyum aairutu” 💔😢 so deeply sorry for your loss Padma.
With time you’ll realise that you’re here, standing tall as a beautiful testament to the love+time she invested in you… as you do with Krishna.
Just like my Paati/Dadima is for me; she will always be by your side, guiding you. Her presence, nourishing you.
May she rest in eternal peace 🙏🏽
Much love, Sonal
Correction with apologies on my typo; I meant PADMA
Dear Parma, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss! Please accept my condolences. It is brave and necessary to be vulnerable and share your feelings of grief so others can have a chance to experience with you and learn from you and equally comfort you at your most vulnerable time.
My grandmother left me her legacy, I write about her in my book “Seva, The Art of Hospitality”, available at Amazon. I did not realize that writing about her would bring so my joy, reality and truth that needed to be out there! My book helped me and my legacy is for my children….
Write about her, talk about her, celebrate her!!!
This is all part of the healing which will turn into a joyful adventure!!!!